Potatonia chapter1

     Once upon a time, there was a rather peculiar teenage girl walking home from school. That girl's name was Leeroy. The story of how she got her name is rather tragic really… her father, an alcoholic then (and still going now!), was incredibly drunk and her mother, still delirious from just being having a child, decided to let the father name the child.     
"It's a boy… and what a boy!". The man was obviously drunk, but the hospital staff had let him in anyway…
     "Uh… I think that's just the umbilical chord…." The doctor had interjected.
     "You shut up! You doctors think you know everything…" His voice heavy with… um… uh… drunkenness! (shut up… I can't write!)"I was a boy once and I think I know what they look like! I want to call this child Leeroy! That is a nice manly name! No one would dare challenge a Leeroy! My grandfather was called Leeroy and he-!" But of course the drunken man's self-satisfied speech had been cut short as he had passed out and was now lying on the floor, snoring…
     And so… that is how it happened…
- - -
     Walking home from school is boring. There's nothing interesting to look at, except that one time a hobo got hammered and started to do the Macarena in the middle of the street... But nothing like that has happened recently, example: rock, rock, tree, driveway, car, flower, rock, dragon, gnome, fence, rock... Wait... Dragon... I spun around.
     There, lying on the ground, was a large gold dragon, its scales shone beautifully in the sun and... and... Let's just say the overall effect was magnificent. It turned it's great head towards me.
     "Someone's probably just spiked the town water supply…" I muttered, concerned that this might have a negative effect on the rest of the town… I obviously didn't care much for my well being.
     "Can you see me?" the great dragon asked me. His voice, for it was obviously a male's voice, was deep and noble. (Does that sound lame?)
     Me, of course, being the idiot I was, just stood there with my mouth open and nodded. The dragon stood up and turned towards me, somehow looking even more magnificent than before…
     "Your destiny is a great one, young child." The dragon said, in a somewhat clichéd way.
     "Um… yeah… I'm walking away from you now." I said, obviously because I'm not used to seeing dragons in the middle of streets.
     "What? Wait? No! The land of Potatonia needs you! It was foretold that there would only be one person on your planet who could see a dragon, and they would be the one that will defeat the evil king whose name must not be spoken!"
     "Oh… then why don't you wait here and find that person. I don't know about you, but I had a bad day at school, and I need a shower." I was really getting tired of this.
     "But don't you get it! You're the chosen one!" he said, putting particular emphasis on the words 'you're', 'the', chosen' and 'one'. "Now get on my back!"
     "Do I have to be the chosen one? There are other people much more suited to the job. And, people aren't used to seeing a big dragon in the sky." I turned around and continued walking home. I really didn't want to be the chosen one.
     "No. you are the only one suited to the job. And you are the only one that can see me." He said taking wing and swooping down to grab me in its talons.
     Wind rushed up my skirt and I suddenly came to realisation. "If you put me down now, I'll get on your back without a fuss!"
     "How do I know you won't just run off?" asked the dragon.
     "Because I know you could probably just grab me again. and also… I'm wearing a skirt! Now let me on your back!" god this dragon was slow. I thought they were supposed to be smart.
     The dragon put me down and I climbed on his back and he took off again. Whilst I sat upon his back, I tried to engage in polite conversation. It failed.
     "So what is your name, dragon." I had to yell over the rush of air that assaulted my eardrums.
     "My name. Is Ferdinand."
     "Damn… that is one manly name. I think I'll call you Ferdie."
     "What?" yelled Ferdie.
     "What?" I yelled right back. I decided to give up on conversation with Ferdie then and there.
     Flying on a dragon would have been nice, the wind in my face, the feeling of extreme freedom, the view. If only it hadn't been my first time… it felt like my stomach was halfway up my throat. Until, to avoid an oncoming flock of geese, Ferdie swooped. Then my stomach was all the way up my throat. I wiped the bile off my mouth and hoped that the vomit would get blown off before Ferdie noticed.
     We've been flying for quite a while now. When were we going to reach this Potatonia? We were still definitely on earth. I could see the Eiffel Tower (I'm in France?). But then, as if hearing my thoughts, the universe opened up. You can always rely on the universe to do stuff like that… Ferdie flew into the gaping hole; it was pretty, lots of colours too (I'm flying through a hole in the universe and that's all I have to say?). And that was when I entered Potatonia.